The Bucket List

The Bucket List. Starring Morgan Freeman as Carter Chambers and Jack Nicholson as Edward Cole. One of the best show in recent years!! Its a story about 2 cancer patients of different status in their lives - Edward's a millionaire who owns the hospital where Carter, a mechanic was treated over there. Their friendship blooms over there where the both of them are admitted in the same ward. Ed was smitten over Carter's intelligence and unimagineable knowledge as for Carter, was attracted to Ed's strong character. Both of them was at the last stage of cancer and decided to do something that they never did in their lives.

This movie is worth buying and collected. For you never get bored over it. Especially when you are down and all are dark, it somehow or rather bring light to you to a certain extent.

Verdict?
4.5 out of 5
(YES!!!! its that good!!!)

I was amazed that things work out so fast between the 2 strangers which i realise that you don't really have to know this person for years or decade to understand what kind of character he/she posses. To understand a person, is to open your ears, listen to them, observe their facial expression, understand their anger/agony and things will just bloom from there. Its the sincerity of one should starts of with and not just by who initiate it.

1st step to road of recovery

I figured it out that i cant treat bulimia by my own and finally give in to professional treatment by going to sgh for help. This time, I am overly determine to quit it as symptons are all, mstly showing and i really sick of being too emo.

1st step to the road of recovery was this morning.

Thought that i will be stambling or mumbling when expressing myself infront of the doc bt all turn out to be nothing than just a normal conversation with a fren. The doc was quite surprise with me being upfront and as well as my frankness. We had a 2hrs conversation with me mstly talking and her listening. We ended the chapter with blood test and urine test to check any of my body function is deteriorating. She also wana to cover my liver as i m abusing alcohol and that shes afraid that they may not be as healthy as what i look. She recommended me to go to a gastrologist(another department) to check out my stomach n intestine as i had bth vomitted & passing out blood. Things sound serious. lol.....Scared?? hrm....I dn really know. Wats in my mind is to work. Get healthy. Tats all..... Thats the comfort that i m seeking for at the time being.

I felt supperly lethargic after drawing out 2 tubes of blood. Probably I had really been eating well, plus I didn't take breakfast this morning. Was almost fainting, heng tat i had will power. lol.....bt i fallen into a deep slp in the car........

Was prescrible a 3 weeks medi call FluOXETine which aids depression, bingeing, mood swings. For start the medic may cause drowinsness however it depends on individual. Hopefully it doesn't happen to me. Lol~~

Next appt will be 2 wks from now.

Charity 2

Top left hand - The elderly waitin patiently to grab their food, for some who are too old and weak, volunteers (Beside) will help q and collect the food for them while they rest with ease^^
Above - All the volunteers who participate. Thank you babes and hunkies!! Lets do it again!!!!

Charity1

Above left - We were at e 2nd venue in which we were early by 30mins. Distribution start at 3pm. Packin was done, so we were granted a 30mins breaky^^ Ang Bao (beside) were given to the elderly. Above are volunteers collecting the food products to be sent to the elderly who are to weak to move.

Are you strong?

Something inspiring & worth the 2mins watch!!

Enjoy^^

New Look= New start!!!

Shorthly after I mourn over my fail r/s. I smacked my head lightly...''Wake up!! stop the emo!!'' Updated my resume, send 5 resumes. . . Did abit of errands and headed my way down to the nearest hair saloon...NEW HAIR CUT FOR A NEW DAY!!! Woot!!!

I told the hairdresser....Give me a bang!! New hair colour!!! My hair is screamin for treatment!!!
He nodded with surprised guess I (as usual) is over frendly. He started giving a pre dye treatment around 5pm....dye....treatment again...by the time he started snipping my hair...its like 8plus. Gosh....thats long....My concentrations has looses its determination to keep me awake and i m swingin my head from left to right as if theres no spine supporting its balance.

8.45pm...I was shock by my new look! slang fringe, shoulder length hair...I almost couldn't recognise the person i m staring at the mirror...That's me...no longer the wild and flamobyant look nor expression..I m like 2yrs younger. happy?? I dn no...but at least it kept me busy rather thn drifttin my attention to my sorrows. I kant wait any longer...its takin me forever to finished the cut. I interrupted the hairdresser, tellin that i m runnin late. Paid and poof*

Went home, change, rush down the sky...Everyone was givin compliment on my new look saying that i look mor lively, fresher, innocent...lol~

I am goin to keep myself busy....in order to recover and not deludin myself in sorrows and tears. Tomorrow...goin to Flo's hs...We are havin pasta!!!! I am helpin up before bringin the yum yum down to sky. Befor that...I will be busy sending resume and cleanin my toliet. If theres spare, I will treatin myself with a D.I.Y. body spa.

Thursday, will be interview and steamboat day!!! yipee!!!
Friday, JB day!!! makan and shopping!!!!
Sat, pool and movie day!!!!
Sun, brain storming day!!!

At least...for this week, I will be occupied. Still haven log into msn...yap one time today, juz to change the pm b4 i logged out again.

Hopefully...I will not be havin any dreams of her...no...its not hate...I realised tat watever happens I kant get myself angry or upset with her for mor thn a day. I dn wana to find out whos rite and wrong in this issue anymore...Its no longer important to me. She hated me. That's all I knew.

I just hav to move on painfully yet with determination tat i will not fall again.

Worth the time

Shitt** I goin to b late for charitY!!!! (wake up @ 10plus) My brain took a good 5mins b4 the urgency tots starts kickin my retarded brain. "Wake up!!!" washing up, send alou whether shes ready as well. wen i receive her $%^& msg tellin me she juz woke up....wat??!!! good tin is...she juz need 20mins to get ready.

Rushing.....hop into the cab with alou in, speed dwn to sky (gather venue), open the door and ???
How cum oni a few kittens??? where are the rest???

Yeng: Not here yet la...y you so kan chiong??
Me: phew~ notin *smile*

its was like 12.15pm where all the rest of the gang gather up. Everyone was in their high spirit mood, readily to do the charity, wen suddenly 3 of them turn to me...

Flo: ger ah...y are you wearing heels??
Me: hur?? shitt!! y m i wearing heels???
Cav: ya lor...how to do charity like tat???
Me: nvm...i m a heel runner!! can do everytin!!!
Ed: smiling cheekly*
Me: (!!-_-)........

Our 1st venue is at red hill...by the time we reach their...there were aldy a crowd filled with hungry elderly. Within a quick 10mins of set up, we (i got help ah) unload all the food products, arrange them in order, and each of us given a duty (i distribute fruits^^)

Its heartbreaking, to see all those elderly walking slowly and weakly to grab their food and ang bao. Shortly after the distribution, each of the volunteer was given an add to distribute the food products to those particular elderly who are unable to cum down due to illness or weak legs.

I was given a add to the 11th storey at blk 89 as well as given an info that this particular person is deaf. Wen reach...I open the heavy door to beckon the old lady that we are here to distribute the food. She was so old and weak that she has to struggle to get up and walk over. Heart breaking.....Alex was trying her best to tok to her loudly hopefully she can hear abit. Fruitless...she is totally deaf, and she kant tok properly as well. We waited for the door to be open and carried the food in, place it to her convience. She was very thankful, holding our hands and repeately tryin her best to say 'thank you' properly. I almost cry.

After tat, we make our way to blk 187 @ yew teck ave. This time the crowd was lesser and the food products were reduce by 1/2. However, there were fresh fish and cook meat for the elderly there. Which is nice. I helped to carry the food products and cooked food for this couple of very old ladies who needed a walking stick to balance themselves. On the way back to their house, bth suddenly were attack by asthma. Panic spider...When one of the ''old bird'' volunteer said that this is norm...juz let them walk super slowly. They will be ok...It took a good 20mins to send them bk to thier individual homes, good tin that there were 4 volunteers including me to help them.

The last venue was also Blk 105, bt merah. Reached. The mnt we alight frm the car, we were welcum by an unpleasent smell. However, this didn't stop us from completing our mission. The q was very long this time round. We hurrily unload all the rest of the food products to prevent this elderly frm standin and queing too long. It took a good 15mins b4 everytin was done. By the end of the day...we were all given a token of appreciation, a hand made samui doll by the elderly. How sweet^^

From there, I realise that my life though...now is not bright, bt to compare to this ppl, I m alot more fortunate. Able to run around, enjoy, healthy. For them, some just wish that their abandon kids will cum bk to visit them, some just hope tat they can live for another day, some juz wish tat they can walk better.

I need to work super hard now. For right now, even more i wan my freedom, to contribute my spare time for volunteering. ^^

Goal

set!!! I intended to go for customer service post instead of my strength (sales). I juz need to work 1 yr before my internet business matures and Viola!! freedom!!!

As well as I finally given up on treating my bulimia by myself and willingly to seek medi help. Tomorrow, will make a trip to polyclinic to get a reference letter b4 making an appointment to SGH. The affiliating book, still left 1/2 more. Hee.....after that, I will be busy discussing and setting up the webpage!! Yipee.....

Thai clubs

Bin to thai clubs ths 2days and I realise how cum I would never want to patron that kind of place again. NEVER!!!!!

Its stink in there. I dn know why bt the air in there smell weird. There is like kinda sour, damp smell. Moreover, the quality of ppl over there........sucks (most of them). One look in their lustful eyes is able to tell you that they are not juz purely there to njoy the culture. Moreover, the gers (most) over there. gosh....use a scribber and scrib of the layers of their powder, it can weigh a good wholesome of.... 50grams. As well as, its obvious that they are not there to provide professional services. Most of them ignore gers like me but smile all over their cheap thick makeup on guys who were knock out by their super short minis.

The morale?
Nil.....

Work or Not Work

I guess...in a way...the management has kinda realise my reluctancy at work. Therefore, asked me in to the office for 'kopi' frm 12.30pm -5pm!!! I juz kept mst to myself and oni said wen the qns were posted too many times. Thats wen they started asking, whether I m still interested in working.

I jammed. If i say yes...i may prob hav to pay the penalty of the contract and plus, recession, may took me 3mths before i land myself to work. Saying no, no penalty but it will make me a very unhappy person.
Ans?? no, i said no. I had a serious talk my joe. Confessing out all my anger frm start or before the 1st day of work. Y??? Cause I no longer have the interest in sales. Yes...it makes big bucks, but no....I dn like lying too much, I dn like to came out new strategies to help the management and get backstab, I wana sumtin that i can work freely on, anytime...anywhere. Call me lazy.

Watever......

There are ppl who doesn't mind the 10-14hrs of work, they see a prospect in there, I do too. however, 10-14hrs....can kill me. I m a person...whom as i said before needed alot of space. Without that, I will becum a very dull...dull...unimaginable stupid person. I don't want to work for the sake of workin.

Plus...though i was given a jobscope on my position bt the culture is still diff compare to the previous one i worked on. I dn't no how to build a rapport with clients without sitting down and hav a 5mins chat with them b4 their facial. I dn no how to convince a client without givin a analysis base on professionalism, and to ask me to blend into it within a month...seriously, i ain't that smart afterall.
Hence, I inform my boss this afternoon, to tell her may as well change my position to Customer Service Officer cum Telemarketer (since i m better at it) and frm there start to understand the work flow and build rapport with clients.
*Request pending*

Haiz....better start reading the classfied again. This time, no sales, even if it is, then make it a commercial sales rather than the saloon one.

Power!!!

Priest was giving a good whole 2hrs of lecturing today. Which there were moments of useless struggling (me defending myself) and moments of appreciating ('kena slap in the brain' and wake up!!)The followings are the tins that i wake up from

#FAULT 1 - DRAGGING MYSELF TO WORK
*CORRECTION: There are times that tings doesn't work out the way you want it to be. The emo that you delude yourself into is noting but misery. Since your boss is workin side by side with you. Take it as an inspiration. Look at her and tell yourself 'I will becum like her' everytime you feel stress...tin of sumtin else. Our rite brain is artistic side whereas the left is to tin logically. Wen you are stress, ask urself how u would like ur dream house to be. The stress will thn b channel to the center of the brain and slowly, you will find yourself tinkin of the decor and not the stress.

#FAULT 2 - DRINKING
*CORRECTION: Ger....I am sick of your drinking habit too....everyone who loves you will be afraid of the way u drink. . . .its like everytime u go clubbing and pubbing, you unleash the evil you and turn yourself into a devil. bt to understand this is one of the side effects u had due to bulima...its time u should seek help....cuz its bin more than a decade and you have wanted to change this prob for 5yrs bt fail to do so......Lets go to SGH and seek help from there.

#FAULT 3 - MOVING OUT
*CORRECTION: You siao ah......can you juz use more of the mind power tin rather to let your emo take charge of you now? Where and how are you able to handle the financial.....and the current situation of urs...you cant take care of urself. I would rather u and ur sa move in to take over the tenant's room thn pay ur mum $. 1st - your mum is not gettin any younger. 2nd - she can take care of u in a way. 3rd - let her no that you and sa can work tins out and she can understand her more. 4th - sa cumin to sg oso not very cheap. staying in ur hs is a budget tin for the time being. 5th - if tins doesn't work out, you don't have to move, she don't have to drag herself til the 1yr contract is over.

Anytin to defend yourself now???