YouTube - Susan Boyle - Singer - Britains Got Talent 2009 (With Lyrics)Susan Boyle singing 'Cry Me A River here -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZoraCG3b6s47 Year old Susan Boyle wows the judges with her performance in the auditions for Britains Got Talent, singing I dreamed a dream from Les Miserables.Here are the Lyrics(Thanks to NewHotdox) -I dreamed a dream in time gone by When hope was high, An...
Some of you may not know this angel. Before you click this clip, wat I can say is there will be a 90% of guilt and regret after the 1st 2mins of this clip. I too....watch it with doubt and sacartism for the 1st 2mins. As a seconds passed, I knew that very moment I was freaking wrong and immediately guilt came rushing into my mind and embrassed by the judgement I gave merely because of her looks. She, Susan Boyle @ 47, still fighting for her dream, still stand firm on her belief, still staying optismistic and possitive. Her 2mins vocal has not only shock the whole world, but also bring hope to every inferior complex individual. She gave us hope and send us a message that everyone is born unique and talent regardless of the appearence. Yes appearence do matters but....thats just secondary. Its the action that reminds others of you. Its the deeds you done that inspire others.
Be confident my dears, for you have a talent that yet known to others. Give yourself a pat on the head and stand infront of the world. Amaze them with what you have and shut the consequences that you assumed in your head. At least you tried rather than living it with regret till the last day of your life. For you have a dream that was hide away by wat you see in the world. Put away your doubts and take every stares as a challenge.
Enjoy the song....an amazing and inspiring song by Susan Boyle. Last but not least. . . . . . Thank you Susan Boyle for giving me hope and believe the "indefinate" once again.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
New Job
Another new chapter of my life. I started working part time for Dior. In cosmetic. Well, i started training on the 1st and 2nd April 2009, was fun!!!! The 1st day of the training is......GO SHOPPING!!! how sweet....(but i don't really like shopping though) Well the trainer want us to observe the shop attendent service towards us. So well....here we go!!!Was pretty fun, needless to say, tiring as well. The 2nd day of the training was to get to know each other and there was this ball game....lol.
Shortly after the 2 days, I was station to work the next. Beginner's luck i guess. I did quite well on the 1st 2 days bt the 3rd day.....sucks.....no crowd at all....worse still this weirdo ( a jap fatty) came in to look for a gloss, i attended to her. Intro a no of gloss till she likes then when i asked whether i should get a new piece for her, she said consider and interrupted me to intro eyeshadow to her. Shitt....confirm is wana free makeup....yet i can't say no. Of course I gave my service to her. After the applications of the eyeshadow, she asked eyeliner. After everything was nicely done on her, she sitted infront of my cute mirror to admire her piggy face. As expected, she stand up and walked away saying that she will come back shortly...ya...like real......
Shortly after the 2 days, I was station to work the next. Beginner's luck i guess. I did quite well on the 1st 2 days bt the 3rd day.....sucks.....no crowd at all....worse still this weirdo ( a jap fatty) came in to look for a gloss, i attended to her. Intro a no of gloss till she likes then when i asked whether i should get a new piece for her, she said consider and interrupted me to intro eyeshadow to her. Shitt....confirm is wana free makeup....yet i can't say no. Of course I gave my service to her. After the applications of the eyeshadow, she asked eyeliner. After everything was nicely done on her, she sitted infront of my cute mirror to admire her piggy face. As expected, she stand up and walked away saying that she will come back shortly...ya...like real......
The Effects
Its been a while since i last logged in here. guess its somewhat 2 wks? yap exactly....cause i went bk to sgh just today to report my ''experience'' with the pill
This 2 weeks...consuming of the pill. .... ..... ..... was upsetting i would say. Though i cut down my drinkings from 6 days a week to 3-4days a week but the scary part is almost everytime i went to drink, i will get drunk easily....guess is the pill, makes me weak. Another thing is, i definetly not super hyper however, become a more quiet, reserve person. Don't ask me why plus, i had stomache which feel like gastric pain...terrible feelings. Last but not least..........I had bad dreams..... The good thing is....I hardly binge. I became more rational towards choosing food, and try to convince myself that is ok for the food to stay in my body. Of course, there are times which i couldn't convince myself...but I am trying hard here yo...
As I went for my appointment to confessing the effects out to the doc, I was taken aback when a student doc was in with her. She explain that he needs to learn and asked for my permission if i allow to. Haiz.....poor him...ok la. We started chatting, I had to brief him through abit of my past and then back to the real doc confessing out my side effects. Well, the reply was its norm, as the effect depends on each individual. Doc asked whether I would like a change of the medic and i reply no. What for??? To let my body go through another sort of reaction towards a new pill for 2 weeks?? May as well stayed and observe 1st. I don't have time for a new pill to kick in the effects on me. All I can do now is waiting for the prozac effect to kick in.
*finger cross*
This 2 weeks...consuming of the pill. .... ..... ..... was upsetting i would say. Though i cut down my drinkings from 6 days a week to 3-4days a week but the scary part is almost everytime i went to drink, i will get drunk easily....guess is the pill, makes me weak. Another thing is, i definetly not super hyper however, become a more quiet, reserve person. Don't ask me why plus, i had stomache which feel like gastric pain...terrible feelings. Last but not least..........I had bad dreams..... The good thing is....I hardly binge. I became more rational towards choosing food, and try to convince myself that is ok for the food to stay in my body. Of course, there are times which i couldn't convince myself...but I am trying hard here yo...
As I went for my appointment to confessing the effects out to the doc, I was taken aback when a student doc was in with her. She explain that he needs to learn and asked for my permission if i allow to. Haiz.....poor him...ok la. We started chatting, I had to brief him through abit of my past and then back to the real doc confessing out my side effects. Well, the reply was its norm, as the effect depends on each individual. Doc asked whether I would like a change of the medic and i reply no. What for??? To let my body go through another sort of reaction towards a new pill for 2 weeks?? May as well stayed and observe 1st. I don't have time for a new pill to kick in the effects on me. All I can do now is waiting for the prozac effect to kick in.
*finger cross*
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
The Bucket List
The Bucket List. Starring Morgan Freeman as Carter Chambers and Jack Nicholson as Edward Cole. One of the best show in recent years!! Its a story about 2 cancer patients of different status in their lives - Edward's a millionaire who owns the hospital where Carter, a mechanic was treated over there. Their friendship blooms over there where the both of them are admitted in the same ward. Ed was smitten over Carter's intelligence and unimagineable knowledge as for Carter, was attracted to Ed's strong character. Both of them was at the last stage of cancer and decided to do something that they never did in their lives.This movie is worth buying and collected. For you never get bored over it. Especially when you are down and all are dark, it somehow or rather bring light to you to a certain extent.
Verdict?
4.5 out of 5
(YES!!!! its that good!!!)
I was amazed that things work out so fast between the 2 strangers which i realise that you don't really have to know this person for years or decade to understand what kind of character he/she posses. To understand a person, is to open your ears, listen to them, observe their facial expression, understand their anger/agony and things will just bloom from there. Its the sincerity of one should starts of with and not just by who initiate it.
1st step to road of recovery
I figured it out that i cant treat bulimia by my own and finally give in to professional treatment by going to sgh for help. This time, I am overly determine to quit it as symptons are all, mstly showing and i really sick of being too emo.
1st step to the road of recovery was this morning.
Thought that i will be stambling or mumbling when expressing myself infront of the doc bt all turn out to be nothing than just a normal conversation with a fren. The doc was quite surprise with me being upfront and as well as my frankness. We had a 2hrs conversation with me mstly talking and her listening. We ended the chapter with blood test and urine test to check any of my body function is deteriorating. She also wana to cover my liver as i m abusing alcohol and that shes afraid that they may not be as healthy as what i look. She recommended me to go to a gastrologist(another department) to check out my stomach n intestine as i had bth vomitted & passing out blood. Things sound serious. lol.....Scared?? hrm....I dn really know. Wats in my mind is to work. Get healthy. Tats all..... Thats the comfort that i m seeking for at the time being.
I felt supperly lethargic after drawing out 2 tubes of blood. Probably I had really been eating well, plus I didn't take breakfast this morning. Was almost fainting, heng tat i had will power. lol.....bt i fallen into a deep slp in the car........
Was prescrible a 3 weeks medi call FluOXETine which aids depression, bingeing, mood swings. For start the medic may cause drowinsness however it depends on individual. Hopefully it doesn't happen to me. Lol~~
Next appt will be 2 wks from now.
1st step to the road of recovery was this morning.
Thought that i will be stambling or mumbling when expressing myself infront of the doc bt all turn out to be nothing than just a normal conversation with a fren. The doc was quite surprise with me being upfront and as well as my frankness. We had a 2hrs conversation with me mstly talking and her listening. We ended the chapter with blood test and urine test to check any of my body function is deteriorating. She also wana to cover my liver as i m abusing alcohol and that shes afraid that they may not be as healthy as what i look. She recommended me to go to a gastrologist(another department) to check out my stomach n intestine as i had bth vomitted & passing out blood. Things sound serious. lol.....Scared?? hrm....I dn really know. Wats in my mind is to work. Get healthy. Tats all..... Thats the comfort that i m seeking for at the time being.
I felt supperly lethargic after drawing out 2 tubes of blood. Probably I had really been eating well, plus I didn't take breakfast this morning. Was almost fainting, heng tat i had will power. lol.....bt i fallen into a deep slp in the car........
Was prescrible a 3 weeks medi call FluOXETine which aids depression, bingeing, mood swings. For start the medic may cause drowinsness however it depends on individual. Hopefully it doesn't happen to me. Lol~~
Next appt will be 2 wks from now.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Charity1
Above left - We were at e 2nd venue in which we were early by 30mins. Distribution start at 3pm. Packin was done, so we were granted a 30mins breaky^^ Ang Bao (beside) were given to the elderly. Above are volunteers collecting the food products to be sent to the elderly who are to weak to move.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
New Look= New start!!!
Shorthly after I mourn over my fail r/s. I smacked my head lightly...''Wake up!! stop the emo!!'' Updated my resume, send 5 resumes. . . Did abit of errands and headed my way down to the nearest hair saloon...NEW HAIR CUT FOR A NEW DAY!!! Woot!!!
I told the hairdresser....Give me a bang!! New hair colour!!! My hair is screamin for treatment!!!
He nodded with surprised guess I (as usual) is over frendly. He started giving a pre dye treatment around 5pm....dye....treatment again...by the time he started snipping my hair...its like 8plus. Gosh....thats long....My concentrations has looses its determination to keep me awake and i m swingin my head from left to right as if theres no spine supporting its balance.
8.45pm...I was shock by my new look! slang fringe, shoulder length hair...I almost couldn't recognise the person i m staring at the mirror...That's me...no longer the wild and flamobyant look nor expression..I m like 2yrs younger. happy?? I dn no...but at least it kept me busy rather thn drifttin my attention to my sorrows. I kant wait any longer...its takin me forever to finished the cut. I interrupted the hairdresser, tellin that i m runnin late. Paid and poof*
Went home, change, rush down the sky...Everyone was givin compliment on my new look saying that i look mor lively, fresher, innocent...lol~
I am goin to keep myself busy....in order to recover and not deludin myself in sorrows and tears. Tomorrow...goin to Flo's hs...We are havin pasta!!!! I am helpin up before bringin the yum yum down to sky. Befor that...I will be busy sending resume and cleanin my toliet. If theres spare, I will treatin myself with a D.I.Y. body spa.
Thursday, will be interview and steamboat day!!! yipee!!!
Friday, JB day!!! makan and shopping!!!!
Sat, pool and movie day!!!!
Sun, brain storming day!!!
At least...for this week, I will be occupied. Still haven log into msn...yap one time today, juz to change the pm b4 i logged out again.
Hopefully...I will not be havin any dreams of her...no...its not hate...I realised tat watever happens I kant get myself angry or upset with her for mor thn a day. I dn wana to find out whos rite and wrong in this issue anymore...Its no longer important to me. She hated me. That's all I knew.
I just hav to move on painfully yet with determination tat i will not fall again.
I told the hairdresser....Give me a bang!! New hair colour!!! My hair is screamin for treatment!!!
He nodded with surprised guess I (as usual) is over frendly. He started giving a pre dye treatment around 5pm....dye....treatment again...by the time he started snipping my hair...its like 8plus. Gosh....thats long....My concentrations has looses its determination to keep me awake and i m swingin my head from left to right as if theres no spine supporting its balance.
8.45pm...I was shock by my new look! slang fringe, shoulder length hair...I almost couldn't recognise the person i m staring at the mirror...That's me...no longer the wild and flamobyant look nor expression..I m like 2yrs younger. happy?? I dn no...but at least it kept me busy rather thn drifttin my attention to my sorrows. I kant wait any longer...its takin me forever to finished the cut. I interrupted the hairdresser, tellin that i m runnin late. Paid and poof*
Went home, change, rush down the sky...Everyone was givin compliment on my new look saying that i look mor lively, fresher, innocent...lol~
I am goin to keep myself busy....in order to recover and not deludin myself in sorrows and tears. Tomorrow...goin to Flo's hs...We are havin pasta!!!! I am helpin up before bringin the yum yum down to sky. Befor that...I will be busy sending resume and cleanin my toliet. If theres spare, I will treatin myself with a D.I.Y. body spa.
Thursday, will be interview and steamboat day!!! yipee!!!
Friday, JB day!!! makan and shopping!!!!
Sat, pool and movie day!!!!
Sun, brain storming day!!!
At least...for this week, I will be occupied. Still haven log into msn...yap one time today, juz to change the pm b4 i logged out again.
Hopefully...I will not be havin any dreams of her...no...its not hate...I realised tat watever happens I kant get myself angry or upset with her for mor thn a day. I dn wana to find out whos rite and wrong in this issue anymore...Its no longer important to me. She hated me. That's all I knew.
I just hav to move on painfully yet with determination tat i will not fall again.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Worth the time
Shitt** I goin to b late for charitY!!!! (wake up @ 10plus) My brain took a good 5mins b4 the urgency tots starts kickin my retarded brain. "Wake up!!!" washing up, send alou whether shes ready as well. wen i receive her $%^& msg tellin me she juz woke up....wat??!!! good tin is...she juz need 20mins to get ready.
Rushing.....hop into the cab with alou in, speed dwn to sky (gather venue), open the door and ???
How cum oni a few kittens??? where are the rest???
Yeng: Not here yet la...y you so kan chiong??
Me: phew~ notin *smile*
its was like 12.15pm where all the rest of the gang gather up. Everyone was in their high spirit mood, readily to do the charity, wen suddenly 3 of them turn to me...
Flo: ger ah...y are you wearing heels??
Me: hur?? shitt!! y m i wearing heels???
Cav: ya lor...how to do charity like tat???
Me: nvm...i m a heel runner!! can do everytin!!!
Ed: smiling cheekly*
Me: (!!-_-)........
Our 1st venue is at red hill...by the time we reach their...there were aldy a crowd filled with hungry elderly. Within a quick 10mins of set up, we (i got help ah) unload all the food products, arrange them in order, and each of us given a duty (i distribute fruits^^)
Its heartbreaking, to see all those elderly walking slowly and weakly to grab their food and ang bao. Shortly after the distribution, each of the volunteer was given an add to distribute the food products to those particular elderly who are unable to cum down due to illness or weak legs.
I was given a add to the 11th storey at blk 89 as well as given an info that this particular person is deaf. Wen reach...I open the heavy door to beckon the old lady that we are here to distribute the food. She was so old and weak that she has to struggle to get up and walk over. Heart breaking.....Alex was trying her best to tok to her loudly hopefully she can hear abit. Fruitless...she is totally deaf, and she kant tok properly as well. We waited for the door to be open and carried the food in, place it to her convience. She was very thankful, holding our hands and repeately tryin her best to say 'thank you' properly. I almost cry.
After tat, we make our way to blk 187 @ yew teck ave. This time the crowd was lesser and the food products were reduce by 1/2. However, there were fresh fish and cook meat for the elderly there. Which is nice. I helped to carry the food products and cooked food for this couple of very old ladies who needed a walking stick to balance themselves. On the way back to their house, bth suddenly were attack by asthma. Panic spider...When one of the ''old bird'' volunteer said that this is norm...juz let them walk super slowly. They will be ok...It took a good 20mins to send them bk to thier individual homes, good tin that there were 4 volunteers including me to help them.
The last venue was also Blk 105, bt merah. Reached. The mnt we alight frm the car, we were welcum by an unpleasent smell. However, this didn't stop us from completing our mission. The q was very long this time round. We hurrily unload all the rest of the food products to prevent this elderly frm standin and queing too long. It took a good 15mins b4 everytin was done. By the end of the day...we were all given a token of appreciation, a hand made samui doll by the elderly. How sweet^^
From there, I realise that my life though...now is not bright, bt to compare to this ppl, I m alot more fortunate. Able to run around, enjoy, healthy. For them, some just wish that their abandon kids will cum bk to visit them, some just hope tat they can live for another day, some juz wish tat they can walk better.
I need to work super hard now. For right now, even more i wan my freedom, to contribute my spare time for volunteering. ^^
Rushing.....hop into the cab with alou in, speed dwn to sky (gather venue), open the door and ???
How cum oni a few kittens??? where are the rest???
Yeng: Not here yet la...y you so kan chiong??
Me: phew~ notin *smile*
its was like 12.15pm where all the rest of the gang gather up. Everyone was in their high spirit mood, readily to do the charity, wen suddenly 3 of them turn to me...
Flo: ger ah...y are you wearing heels??
Me: hur?? shitt!! y m i wearing heels???
Cav: ya lor...how to do charity like tat???
Me: nvm...i m a heel runner!! can do everytin!!!
Ed: smiling cheekly*
Me: (!!-_-)........
Our 1st venue is at red hill...by the time we reach their...there were aldy a crowd filled with hungry elderly. Within a quick 10mins of set up, we (i got help ah) unload all the food products, arrange them in order, and each of us given a duty (i distribute fruits^^)
Its heartbreaking, to see all those elderly walking slowly and weakly to grab their food and ang bao. Shortly after the distribution, each of the volunteer was given an add to distribute the food products to those particular elderly who are unable to cum down due to illness or weak legs.
I was given a add to the 11th storey at blk 89 as well as given an info that this particular person is deaf. Wen reach...I open the heavy door to beckon the old lady that we are here to distribute the food. She was so old and weak that she has to struggle to get up and walk over. Heart breaking.....Alex was trying her best to tok to her loudly hopefully she can hear abit. Fruitless...she is totally deaf, and she kant tok properly as well. We waited for the door to be open and carried the food in, place it to her convience. She was very thankful, holding our hands and repeately tryin her best to say 'thank you' properly. I almost cry.
After tat, we make our way to blk 187 @ yew teck ave. This time the crowd was lesser and the food products were reduce by 1/2. However, there were fresh fish and cook meat for the elderly there. Which is nice. I helped to carry the food products and cooked food for this couple of very old ladies who needed a walking stick to balance themselves. On the way back to their house, bth suddenly were attack by asthma. Panic spider...When one of the ''old bird'' volunteer said that this is norm...juz let them walk super slowly. They will be ok...It took a good 20mins to send them bk to thier individual homes, good tin that there were 4 volunteers including me to help them.
The last venue was also Blk 105, bt merah. Reached. The mnt we alight frm the car, we were welcum by an unpleasent smell. However, this didn't stop us from completing our mission. The q was very long this time round. We hurrily unload all the rest of the food products to prevent this elderly frm standin and queing too long. It took a good 15mins b4 everytin was done. By the end of the day...we were all given a token of appreciation, a hand made samui doll by the elderly. How sweet^^
From there, I realise that my life though...now is not bright, bt to compare to this ppl, I m alot more fortunate. Able to run around, enjoy, healthy. For them, some just wish that their abandon kids will cum bk to visit them, some just hope tat they can live for another day, some juz wish tat they can walk better.
I need to work super hard now. For right now, even more i wan my freedom, to contribute my spare time for volunteering. ^^
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Goal
set!!! I intended to go for customer service post instead of my strength (sales). I juz need to work 1 yr before my internet business matures and Viola!! freedom!!!
As well as I finally given up on treating my bulimia by myself and willingly to seek medi help. Tomorrow, will make a trip to polyclinic to get a reference letter b4 making an appointment to SGH. The affiliating book, still left 1/2 more. Hee.....after that, I will be busy discussing and setting up the webpage!! Yipee.....
As well as I finally given up on treating my bulimia by myself and willingly to seek medi help. Tomorrow, will make a trip to polyclinic to get a reference letter b4 making an appointment to SGH. The affiliating book, still left 1/2 more. Hee.....after that, I will be busy discussing and setting up the webpage!! Yipee.....
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Thai clubs
Bin to thai clubs ths 2days and I realise how cum I would never want to patron that kind of place again. NEVER!!!!!
Its stink in there. I dn know why bt the air in there smell weird. There is like kinda sour, damp smell. Moreover, the quality of ppl over there........sucks (most of them). One look in their lustful eyes is able to tell you that they are not juz purely there to njoy the culture. Moreover, the gers (most) over there. gosh....use a scribber and scrib of the layers of their powder, it can weigh a good wholesome of.... 50grams. As well as, its obvious that they are not there to provide professional services. Most of them ignore gers like me but smile all over their cheap thick makeup on guys who were knock out by their super short minis.
The morale?
Nil.....
Its stink in there. I dn know why bt the air in there smell weird. There is like kinda sour, damp smell. Moreover, the quality of ppl over there........sucks (most of them). One look in their lustful eyes is able to tell you that they are not juz purely there to njoy the culture. Moreover, the gers (most) over there. gosh....use a scribber and scrib of the layers of their powder, it can weigh a good wholesome of.... 50grams. As well as, its obvious that they are not there to provide professional services. Most of them ignore gers like me but smile all over their cheap thick makeup on guys who were knock out by their super short minis.
The morale?
Nil.....
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Work or Not Work
I guess...in a way...the management has kinda realise my reluctancy at work. Therefore, asked me in to the office for 'kopi' frm 12.30pm -5pm!!! I juz kept mst to myself and oni said wen the qns were posted too many times. Thats wen they started asking, whether I m still interested in working.
I jammed. If i say yes...i may prob hav to pay the penalty of the contract and plus, recession, may took me 3mths before i land myself to work. Saying no, no penalty but it will make me a very unhappy person.
Ans?? no, i said no. I had a serious talk my joe. Confessing out all my anger frm start or before the 1st day of work. Y??? Cause I no longer have the interest in sales. Yes...it makes big bucks, but no....I dn like lying too much, I dn like to came out new strategies to help the management and get backstab, I wana sumtin that i can work freely on, anytime...anywhere. Call me lazy.
Watever......
There are ppl who doesn't mind the 10-14hrs of work, they see a prospect in there, I do too. however, 10-14hrs....can kill me. I m a person...whom as i said before needed alot of space. Without that, I will becum a very dull...dull...unimaginable stupid person. I don't want to work for the sake of workin.
Plus...though i was given a jobscope on my position bt the culture is still diff compare to the previous one i worked on. I dn't no how to build a rapport with clients without sitting down and hav a 5mins chat with them b4 their facial. I dn no how to convince a client without givin a analysis base on professionalism, and to ask me to blend into it within a month...seriously, i ain't that smart afterall.
Hence, I inform my boss this afternoon, to tell her may as well change my position to Customer Service Officer cum Telemarketer (since i m better at it) and frm there start to understand the work flow and build rapport with clients.
*Request pending*
Haiz....better start reading the classfied again. This time, no sales, even if it is, then make it a commercial sales rather than the saloon one.
I jammed. If i say yes...i may prob hav to pay the penalty of the contract and plus, recession, may took me 3mths before i land myself to work. Saying no, no penalty but it will make me a very unhappy person.
Ans?? no, i said no. I had a serious talk my joe. Confessing out all my anger frm start or before the 1st day of work. Y??? Cause I no longer have the interest in sales. Yes...it makes big bucks, but no....I dn like lying too much, I dn like to came out new strategies to help the management and get backstab, I wana sumtin that i can work freely on, anytime...anywhere. Call me lazy.
Watever......
There are ppl who doesn't mind the 10-14hrs of work, they see a prospect in there, I do too. however, 10-14hrs....can kill me. I m a person...whom as i said before needed alot of space. Without that, I will becum a very dull...dull...unimaginable stupid person. I don't want to work for the sake of workin.
Plus...though i was given a jobscope on my position bt the culture is still diff compare to the previous one i worked on. I dn't no how to build a rapport with clients without sitting down and hav a 5mins chat with them b4 their facial. I dn no how to convince a client without givin a analysis base on professionalism, and to ask me to blend into it within a month...seriously, i ain't that smart afterall.
Hence, I inform my boss this afternoon, to tell her may as well change my position to Customer Service Officer cum Telemarketer (since i m better at it) and frm there start to understand the work flow and build rapport with clients.
*Request pending*
Haiz....better start reading the classfied again. This time, no sales, even if it is, then make it a commercial sales rather than the saloon one.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Power!!!
Priest was giving a good whole 2hrs of lecturing today. Which there were moments of useless struggling (me defending myself) and moments of appreciating ('kena slap in the brain' and wake up!!)The followings are the tins that i wake up from
#FAULT 1 - DRAGGING MYSELF TO WORK
*CORRECTION: There are times that tings doesn't work out the way you want it to be. The emo that you delude yourself into is noting but misery. Since your boss is workin side by side with you. Take it as an inspiration. Look at her and tell yourself 'I will becum like her' everytime you feel stress...tin of sumtin else. Our rite brain is artistic side whereas the left is to tin logically. Wen you are stress, ask urself how u would like ur dream house to be. The stress will thn b channel to the center of the brain and slowly, you will find yourself tinkin of the decor and not the stress.
#FAULT 2 - DRINKING
*CORRECTION: Ger....I am sick of your drinking habit too....everyone who loves you will be afraid of the way u drink. . . .its like everytime u go clubbing and pubbing, you unleash the evil you and turn yourself into a devil. bt to understand this is one of the side effects u had due to bulima...its time u should seek help....cuz its bin more than a decade and you have wanted to change this prob for 5yrs bt fail to do so......Lets go to SGH and seek help from there.
#FAULT 3 - MOVING OUT
*CORRECTION: You siao ah......can you juz use more of the mind power tin rather to let your emo take charge of you now? Where and how are you able to handle the financial.....and the current situation of urs...you cant take care of urself. I would rather u and ur sa move in to take over the tenant's room thn pay ur mum $. 1st - your mum is not gettin any younger. 2nd - she can take care of u in a way. 3rd - let her no that you and sa can work tins out and she can understand her more. 4th - sa cumin to sg oso not very cheap. staying in ur hs is a budget tin for the time being. 5th - if tins doesn't work out, you don't have to move, she don't have to drag herself til the 1yr contract is over.
Anytin to defend yourself now???
#FAULT 1 - DRAGGING MYSELF TO WORK
*CORRECTION: There are times that tings doesn't work out the way you want it to be. The emo that you delude yourself into is noting but misery. Since your boss is workin side by side with you. Take it as an inspiration. Look at her and tell yourself 'I will becum like her' everytime you feel stress...tin of sumtin else. Our rite brain is artistic side whereas the left is to tin logically. Wen you are stress, ask urself how u would like ur dream house to be. The stress will thn b channel to the center of the brain and slowly, you will find yourself tinkin of the decor and not the stress.
#FAULT 2 - DRINKING
*CORRECTION: Ger....I am sick of your drinking habit too....everyone who loves you will be afraid of the way u drink. . . .its like everytime u go clubbing and pubbing, you unleash the evil you and turn yourself into a devil. bt to understand this is one of the side effects u had due to bulima...its time u should seek help....cuz its bin more than a decade and you have wanted to change this prob for 5yrs bt fail to do so......Lets go to SGH and seek help from there.
#FAULT 3 - MOVING OUT
*CORRECTION: You siao ah......can you juz use more of the mind power tin rather to let your emo take charge of you now? Where and how are you able to handle the financial.....and the current situation of urs...you cant take care of urself. I would rather u and ur sa move in to take over the tenant's room thn pay ur mum $. 1st - your mum is not gettin any younger. 2nd - she can take care of u in a way. 3rd - let her no that you and sa can work tins out and she can understand her more. 4th - sa cumin to sg oso not very cheap. staying in ur hs is a budget tin for the time being. 5th - if tins doesn't work out, you don't have to move, she don't have to drag herself til the 1yr contract is over.
Anytin to defend yourself now???
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
HATE MY WORK
My new job....its drainin my energy...To work for 10-14hrs daily ....I had little time for myself...writtin bloggy seem like a hell...cuz my feelings are all ...all and all blank...which explains how cum i didn't blog lately. its been like hell this 3wks...and its the 1st time of my life, i have bin slpin with my makeup on....and even wen i slp....i m slpin without peace. nightmares of unfinish work.....i woke up with panic. Tell me....how are u able to do telemarketin and create inv and ans all incoming calls and bringin clients to waiting area, bringin them drinks and get the therapists and to calls clients who are late and to confirm appt for next day and to do sales all in one day?
I missed my 8hrs of slp....I missed my reading news....I missed my frens....I missed my dear....I missed my freedom.
U may tin i kant take the hardship...to me....i can take a full 14hrs of work with 30mins of smkin break...bt on a everyday basics...i kant....I can forgo my clubbing and drinks. I can forgo my movie trips and shopping...bt i kant forgo my space. I m a person who needs a fair amount of time to do my own tins (e.g. reading news, reading net marketin, exercise, catchin up with family and frens) and not spending 3/4 of the day to dug my head in the documents. All work and no personal space makes me a dull person.
I missed my 8hrs of slp....I missed my reading news....I missed my frens....I missed my dear....I missed my freedom.
U may tin i kant take the hardship...to me....i can take a full 14hrs of work with 30mins of smkin break...bt on a everyday basics...i kant....I can forgo my clubbing and drinks. I can forgo my movie trips and shopping...bt i kant forgo my space. I m a person who needs a fair amount of time to do my own tins (e.g. reading news, reading net marketin, exercise, catchin up with family and frens) and not spending 3/4 of the day to dug my head in the documents. All work and no personal space makes me a dull person.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
yet another similar case
Look at him....he look like my nephew, the innocent soul that hes kissing look as if his baby sis yet it turn out to be his daughter.My god....the world of innocence (givin all the credits to the children) seem to be gettin lesser and lesser. Children are gettin easy access to pornography and sex rite under the folks nose. I have been reading with disgust and irritations wen the news of kids, ages btw 8 -11 are having sex, got pregnant and thn abort.
I wonder how are the new parents teachin and guiding their kids. Shower them with gifts and approval to hang around the web 24/7 as a form of love? Or iszzit due to their hatic work life that brought neglection to their flesh and blood? They blamed it on teachers who are having affairs with their children and turn speechless wen their kids are havin sex with those of their peers. Are they lookin for a hat to cover their face from embaressment?
I would hope they are able to do sum soul searchin and not blame it on kids. Wat the innocence has done, its the blame of their folks. It reflects how much u guide them through their growin life. They are born with curiousity and its ur duty to teach them the dos and dons. Stop pointin the fingers around and look urself at the mirror.
Its is love or pervert?
Lately, news hav bin cuming out with teachers having sex or relationship with students. You prob read tat once or twice in a year with teachers from US, Europe, Aust and now even singapore....our very own 'conservative' n small country.
This male teacher (age 27) claim to b deeply in love with his student, then 13. Said no other motive than just wana to be with her and grow together. He even stand firm on sayin that theres is notin wrong as bth parties are single unlike those in other countries (married female teach. n students affairs)
Screw you!!! This is MADNESS!!!! You!! let not say your profession. You age 27, should be mature and old enough to have think that ger or even boys @ age 10-17 are still naive, curious, insensible and how dare you claim true love from there? They haven even done with their puberty. Its like fuckin a 3 yr old kid? Wat diff are you compare to Micheal?
Teachers and students r/s to me. Its not really a disgustin though. However, its should b a reasonable age there to before you talk abot affections and love. I m ok with student around 18-24 having affairs with teachers. They should reach to a certain level of maturity and able to make a decision from there. Then again, I do not agree with students have affairs with their class teachers. There is a diff.
its sumtin like havin affairs with your colleagues. If some of you out there have this kind of r/s b4, you should no wat i mean. Its damn diff to concentrate on your work let alone to payin attention where you should be.
This male teacher (age 27) claim to b deeply in love with his student, then 13. Said no other motive than just wana to be with her and grow together. He even stand firm on sayin that theres is notin wrong as bth parties are single unlike those in other countries (married female teach. n students affairs)
Screw you!!! This is MADNESS!!!! You!! let not say your profession. You age 27, should be mature and old enough to have think that ger or even boys @ age 10-17 are still naive, curious, insensible and how dare you claim true love from there? They haven even done with their puberty. Its like fuckin a 3 yr old kid? Wat diff are you compare to Micheal?
Teachers and students r/s to me. Its not really a disgustin though. However, its should b a reasonable age there to before you talk abot affections and love. I m ok with student around 18-24 having affairs with teachers. They should reach to a certain level of maturity and able to make a decision from there. Then again, I do not agree with students have affairs with their class teachers. There is a diff.
its sumtin like havin affairs with your colleagues. If some of you out there have this kind of r/s b4, you should no wat i mean. Its damn diff to concentrate on your work let alone to payin attention where you should be.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
a new challenge begins
Its really her....RACHEAL...spell on the name list wen i m registerin for my locker.
the 99%...has upgrade itself to a full 100%. She was passing around the front desk pretty often...and i guess my unwelcum vibes was too strong and she realise that i hav not forgotten e past.
Tot alot....I shouldn't hav speculate her...I had a dirty past myself...everyone has a time of a wake up call...bt i juz cant pass the test of forgive and forget...its sumwat like a kindergarten kid goin for a degree examination...
Bt i m learnin how to....it takes time after all. Sumone or more had given me a chance....and i should do the same. M not goin to rush for an ans. observation is best b4 i can decide whether she worth the forgivness.
call me selfish if u wan. I have it in a certain way.
the 99%...has upgrade itself to a full 100%. She was passing around the front desk pretty often...and i guess my unwelcum vibes was too strong and she realise that i hav not forgotten e past.
Tot alot....I shouldn't hav speculate her...I had a dirty past myself...everyone has a time of a wake up call...bt i juz cant pass the test of forgive and forget...its sumwat like a kindergarten kid goin for a degree examination...
Bt i m learnin how to....it takes time after all. Sumone or more had given me a chance....and i should do the same. M not goin to rush for an ans. observation is best b4 i can decide whether she worth the forgivness.
call me selfish if u wan. I have it in a certain way.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
New Obstacles
Broke the egg!!! Finally got close a sales. Its pea contribution, but is a stepping stone.
At start, the 1st day i was on job, I aldy met my obstacles. I saw one of my ex colleagues who bullied me wen i m a new bird workin for fave nails. (yes....kena bully...kant believe rite. ...) Got it over, cuz she is not goin to destruct me.
Thn today....I saw summore that i dn wana to see in my whole entire life....RACHEAL!!! The ger who sold her frenship of us for a fancy driver.
I don't really no is it really her...but the similarity is 99%....tall, dark skin, miserable small eyes...wavy hair....juz tat she grows bigger thn before.
My life for now onwards...its goin to be more and more challenging and interesting.
Oh ya...juz in case u are curious y would a bad ger like me will kena bully. My sis (the oni one i listen to) told me before, you dn work with a pretty face, the world dn obey you. You are workin from others and stealing sumone's knowledge and rice. Be humble. Wen you got wat you wan. Be nice to the new ones, as you gone through the pain, and dn giv it to the newbies. So wen i work in a new company. I often, kena fuck badly regardless is infront of everyone or in front of clients. The worse case scenerio is kena hum tum by a punch on my head. Was clenching my teeth wen my senior did that on me. I m like tinkin....'If i m not workin here, you will definetly be in broken down in pieces.' lol....
At start, the 1st day i was on job, I aldy met my obstacles. I saw one of my ex colleagues who bullied me wen i m a new bird workin for fave nails. (yes....kena bully...kant believe rite. ...) Got it over, cuz she is not goin to destruct me.
Thn today....I saw summore that i dn wana to see in my whole entire life....RACHEAL!!! The ger who sold her frenship of us for a fancy driver.
I don't really no is it really her...but the similarity is 99%....tall, dark skin, miserable small eyes...wavy hair....juz tat she grows bigger thn before.
My life for now onwards...its goin to be more and more challenging and interesting.
Oh ya...juz in case u are curious y would a bad ger like me will kena bully. My sis (the oni one i listen to) told me before, you dn work with a pretty face, the world dn obey you. You are workin from others and stealing sumone's knowledge and rice. Be humble. Wen you got wat you wan. Be nice to the new ones, as you gone through the pain, and dn giv it to the newbies. So wen i work in a new company. I often, kena fuck badly regardless is infront of everyone or in front of clients. The worse case scenerio is kena hum tum by a punch on my head. Was clenching my teeth wen my senior did that on me. I m like tinkin....'If i m not workin here, you will definetly be in broken down in pieces.' lol....
Monday, February 9, 2009
lecturing lesson
Kena lecture for helping the recep in the branch. Lecture for not doin my given job scope. Pretty upset. But to tin again ....I do deserve it. Its my duty after all to settle all my stuffs, bt help its also a way of pulling urself closer to ur colleagues.
Haiz....I really need to put my job scope as the primary now. Was abit crude to sa...cuz i told her we cant tok too often as its affectin me. She sounded pretty upset. I wana to tell her to give me sumtime to stablize my job but its aldy sound harsh wen i imagine me sayin out. Don't wana to upset her.
Haiz....I really need to put my job scope as the primary now. Was abit crude to sa...cuz i told her we cant tok too often as its affectin me. She sounded pretty upset. I wana to tell her to give me sumtime to stablize my job but its aldy sound harsh wen i imagine me sayin out. Don't wana to upset her.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
8. The Morale
Couple of my frens aldy start reading my blogs and qns y i wana to show my ugly side to the world. Wouldn't i b inviting judgment, critisim , despite or disgust?
No. The prob is, I want to face myself, challenging myself against all odds. I dn need to please all. Those who knows me, will accept. I dn wana to juz show the pretty me and not the ugly me.
Some may feel comfortable reading. But everyone has a story to tell. Whether to be truthful to yourself is not others to judge, its u who judge urself. I m still not perfect. But i m learnin to b a better man by starting to love myself and not to break any promise i make.
To those that i hurt especially Mark and Joe. I m truly sorry. I wasn't able to face myself and the rest, caused hurt in the both of u, is the least tin i wana to do.
To Sa, I will bcum a better person and watever it takes, lets us work tins out. I love you. Happy 1mth moniversary.
To my family, Hatred and anger is tiring. Lets find another route to make tins work.
To the rest who have similar experience. Fear not, you are not the oni one. Don't be upset and embarass with your past. Don't drag it forward to the presence and future. Believe in one tin...Mind Power. Its greater thn intelligence, stronger the will power. Its the engine that generates those 2. Jia you.
No. The prob is, I want to face myself, challenging myself against all odds. I dn need to please all. Those who knows me, will accept. I dn wana to juz show the pretty me and not the ugly me.
Some may feel comfortable reading. But everyone has a story to tell. Whether to be truthful to yourself is not others to judge, its u who judge urself. I m still not perfect. But i m learnin to b a better man by starting to love myself and not to break any promise i make.
To those that i hurt especially Mark and Joe. I m truly sorry. I wasn't able to face myself and the rest, caused hurt in the both of u, is the least tin i wana to do.
To Sa, I will bcum a better person and watever it takes, lets us work tins out. I love you. Happy 1mth moniversary.
To my family, Hatred and anger is tiring. Lets find another route to make tins work.
To the rest who have similar experience. Fear not, you are not the oni one. Don't be upset and embarass with your past. Don't drag it forward to the presence and future. Believe in one tin...Mind Power. Its greater thn intelligence, stronger the will power. Its the engine that generates those 2. Jia you.
7. The Finale
I started joinning fridae, unleashin the inner me out. Got into a date, ends within a month. Thats was wen i made Sa...a sweet lovely lady. She has gave me a feelin that I never had before. I was determined ths time, to love the person wholeheartly and not to lay my eyes on others. I started telling everyone, all the straights that i m attach, happily attach to a ger, i wana to grow. Starting to tell the courters not to waste their time on me. And, tryin to be responsible with my action, for now, i m not livin life alone. There is sumone i wish to come home to. But by bulimia has givin me side effect now. Mood swings, sudden mnts of agitations, mild depress, abusing drinking, bloating and water rentention. This is the 1st tin i wan to recover from, and from 2molo onwards (9.2.2009), I will forcefully stop my eatin disorder. I need to slp well so i can excercise after my work. I need to eat healthy so that the side effects will recover. Juz tat I hope Sa will be patient. More patient than she tots.
As for my work, I juz wana to work max. 2yrs. Quit and start on my own. I hate lying, even white lies. Wana to start my own cuz i will hav more time to spend with sa and my hobbies.
As for my work, I juz wana to work max. 2yrs. Quit and start on my own. I hate lying, even white lies. Wana to start my own cuz i will hav more time to spend with sa and my hobbies.
6. The glory and the setbacks
By then, in 2008. I wasn't into flirting. I moved bk to mum's hs (she finally divorced). Dated 1 or 2 guys for a month. And went on my singlehood. I realised that i wasn't a good gerfren. To be one, is to find a goal. That will be my work. I excel in my sales job, was awarded the 2nd top sales with a extra incentives of 3k. My services was excellent, clients trusted me, colleagues in my branch gave me a respect which i yearn for. I was happy, confident, proud of myself for once.
But the company's structure was a mess, changing rules everyday. Terms and conditions weren't stated down in the contract. I started to feel the pressure, and worried abot my colleagues, the fighting spirits seem to lose its energy.
I email MOE, askin enquiries. By thn, i m too busy runnin from work to home to hospital(mum was pretty sick thn). To boost my colleagues (90% m'sian) abit and to fight for their rights, i send the reply frm MOM to them, to let them no their rights. I was backstabbed again. Lol....This time was bad stabbed by one of my colleague which i dn like, MAY. She dn no how to sell, do not completed her job scopes, do tins without a finished, and always pushin faults on other colleague.
I was terminated the next wk (at the start of recession, where wall street was in chaos), with the reason of sending enquiry to MOM. I cried for my courageous for an hour, and went straight to another company for interview. Joe was there for me. (at this point of time, we are like bestie. cuz we knew each other too much). He gave his support, drove me to interviews. By the next 2 weeks. I aldy got 3 jobs offers. But didn't went straight to work, in fact i opt for 3mths break. I hadn't bin out of singapore for 8yrs. Its time i should. During the break, i went to butter (still club, bt not so often, time to grew out of it). I was intro to ths babe by a muture fren. Shes in her 30s but look like 20s. devilish figure, angelic face. I was dancing, wen she suddenly grab me, kissed, put my hands on her boobs n hers on mine. It drove the crowds crazy and it wake me up. I do like gers.
But the company's structure was a mess, changing rules everyday. Terms and conditions weren't stated down in the contract. I started to feel the pressure, and worried abot my colleagues, the fighting spirits seem to lose its energy.
I email MOE, askin enquiries. By thn, i m too busy runnin from work to home to hospital(mum was pretty sick thn). To boost my colleagues (90% m'sian) abit and to fight for their rights, i send the reply frm MOM to them, to let them no their rights. I was backstabbed again. Lol....This time was bad stabbed by one of my colleague which i dn like, MAY. She dn no how to sell, do not completed her job scopes, do tins without a finished, and always pushin faults on other colleague.
I was terminated the next wk (at the start of recession, where wall street was in chaos), with the reason of sending enquiry to MOM. I cried for my courageous for an hour, and went straight to another company for interview. Joe was there for me. (at this point of time, we are like bestie. cuz we knew each other too much). He gave his support, drove me to interviews. By the next 2 weeks. I aldy got 3 jobs offers. But didn't went straight to work, in fact i opt for 3mths break. I hadn't bin out of singapore for 8yrs. Its time i should. During the break, i went to butter (still club, bt not so often, time to grew out of it). I was intro to ths babe by a muture fren. Shes in her 30s but look like 20s. devilish figure, angelic face. I was dancing, wen she suddenly grab me, kissed, put my hands on her boobs n hers on mine. It drove the crowds crazy and it wake me up. I do like gers.
5. The 2 lovers of my life.
I became numb. Hated her, demand her to move out of the house. I was lost.....lost in my life...Thats wen i met Mark. We aldy knew each other wen I was wrkin in Mac Master bt the closeness is wen he visited in Viva. We dated. Its was lovely, his family treated me as their child, he adores me give me all the love that i yearned for. but i ruined it. I ruin it by massive of clubbing, drinkin, turnin violent on him, flirtin around. The relationship ended in 2yrs.
I turned even worse than ever. By thn viva is no longer operating. I worked in a pub which was bside this les pub call cows n coolies. I drank even more, became more wild thn ever, having 6 bfs at one go. Got close to Jane (works together b4 in Viva), whom is another ger then i treated like sister. And thn again, i was backstabbed. She felt the threat wen i was more popular thn her. The backstab happens wen i met joe. Joe was the boss's fren in Viva thn. He was interested in me, bt i was not, cuz i dn wana tins to turn ugly as his the frens of the boss after all. The pub thn i work 4 thn, he was one of the shareholder(slpin partner). We started dating secretly, as my reputation wasn't very good, and his bestie doesn't approve me as a girlfrend. Jane was aware of the secret and popped it out like no body business. We fight outside of the pub. Foes were made that very sec.
I quit the job, joe encourage me to work in the day which i started to work in Fave's Nails. Bt I was in night life for like 2-3yrs. It wasn't easy for me. I came work freakin late, always on mc due to clubbin. I quit after 1 yrs plus, work as a freelance dancer, wild again. Bt Joe was patient. he nurture me. Gave me the knowledge that i never knew. Force me to confess that i had never done before. He too received the treatment on how i treated Mark but he patiently waited. Rent a rm with me, sacrified his work for me. Just to make me a better person. But part of me, doesn't want to leave my 'comfort zone'. We ended up break and patch...break and patch again. (I was thn workin for Bioskin.) With no idea of wat i had dn, I cut him deeply, deeply into his heart with my rebellious. Our 4yrs r/s ended in 2007.
I turned even worse than ever. By thn viva is no longer operating. I worked in a pub which was bside this les pub call cows n coolies. I drank even more, became more wild thn ever, having 6 bfs at one go. Got close to Jane (works together b4 in Viva), whom is another ger then i treated like sister. And thn again, i was backstabbed. She felt the threat wen i was more popular thn her. The backstab happens wen i met joe. Joe was the boss's fren in Viva thn. He was interested in me, bt i was not, cuz i dn wana tins to turn ugly as his the frens of the boss after all. The pub thn i work 4 thn, he was one of the shareholder(slpin partner). We started dating secretly, as my reputation wasn't very good, and his bestie doesn't approve me as a girlfrend. Jane was aware of the secret and popped it out like no body business. We fight outside of the pub. Foes were made that very sec.
I quit the job, joe encourage me to work in the day which i started to work in Fave's Nails. Bt I was in night life for like 2-3yrs. It wasn't easy for me. I came work freakin late, always on mc due to clubbin. I quit after 1 yrs plus, work as a freelance dancer, wild again. Bt Joe was patient. he nurture me. Gave me the knowledge that i never knew. Force me to confess that i had never done before. He too received the treatment on how i treated Mark but he patiently waited. Rent a rm with me, sacrified his work for me. Just to make me a better person. But part of me, doesn't want to leave my 'comfort zone'. We ended up break and patch...break and patch again. (I was thn workin for Bioskin.) With no idea of wat i had dn, I cut him deeply, deeply into his heart with my rebellious. Our 4yrs r/s ended in 2007.
4. Independency
17, most of my teachers are relaxin on me, as they prob given up. Even my vice principal told me this funny tin.
'you wan to smoke? Can...So long u are not in the school.'
Which means the mnt i stepped out of my school, i can smk. How great!!!
The last straw was wen my mum turn her back on me, instead of believe in wat i say abot the agreement btw the VP and me. She believe the fucker. The principal caught me smokin outside the sch, wana to give me detention. Home detention. Don't need to go school. i fuck her lor. But mum believe. Fuck it. Dad was super angry. Corner me in one area, lifted me up with one of his hand, struggling my neck. I was staring at him, choking at the same time, my toes dancin in mid-air. after 10sec or so, he dropped me, shouted me to get out and dared me to leave without their suport. With hot tears runnin out and coughing profusly, I packed my stuff, dial a couple of frens no and out i go. (oh, all 3 children have been kicked out b4)
That 1.5yrs out of house, i m pratically like a free loader, moving to all parts of singapore. 90% of the location, i hav at least stay 1 wk or 2. I worked in mac master, guardin the pool plc. I club most of the days as well.
I hang out with tis group of guys, driving fierce cars. (got to know them while plying counter strike then) I was happy, feelin the fun, feelin proud. I got close with one of the gers there (their flings) as she (RACHEAL) is one of my sch mates frens thn and we are the same age (17). I tot i can trust ths bunch of ppl aka the ah sia (ppl who don't work, ask $$ from folks). I tends to hang out with more thn. Thats wen i was wrong.....we were plyin poker in one of their house (we usually hang out there), and i lost badly. penalty: vodka on the rock. 4 glass, i m gone. I went to rest on the bed. Thats wen i had flashes of my top being remove, breasts being carress and a voice, 'Merlin, i really like you'. I couldn't react much, my energy was drained away by the liquor. Helpless.... The next mnt i woke up, my clothes were on, noting seem to happen. is it a dream?? (I was oni finally told by one of them that it does happen at the end of the parting btw me and the group)
Racheal and I were so close that we rent a master room together at PARKVIEW CONDO. I adore her like a sister, i clean the house, cook as she cant even cook maggie mee, wash her lingerie. We spent our time on drinkin, clubbin, shoppin, workin in VIVA (a pub in central mall), sits on cool cars. The both of us don't really need to work very hard, as we can get most of the tins we want. The tin i wasn't aware is, racheal has bin backstabbing me all along. To gain her mnt of fame and popularity. She was with this guy who drove evo7 (the car juz launch), and she was head over heels on him. Bt they broke off shortly after 1mth, the guy grew tired. She doesn't want to loose him not bcuz she love him, but bcuz of his status. The worse was wen 'CAT' (my thn bestie - guy) asked her for a favour. To get me in bed with him and in return, he will pull the strings btw ken n her. And i was traded for that. (notin happen, he just wana to test her). There was a couple of times wen i was drunk in the pub, she keep urgin me to go CAT's house.
'you wan to smoke? Can...So long u are not in the school.'
Which means the mnt i stepped out of my school, i can smk. How great!!!
The last straw was wen my mum turn her back on me, instead of believe in wat i say abot the agreement btw the VP and me. She believe the fucker. The principal caught me smokin outside the sch, wana to give me detention. Home detention. Don't need to go school. i fuck her lor. But mum believe. Fuck it. Dad was super angry. Corner me in one area, lifted me up with one of his hand, struggling my neck. I was staring at him, choking at the same time, my toes dancin in mid-air. after 10sec or so, he dropped me, shouted me to get out and dared me to leave without their suport. With hot tears runnin out and coughing profusly, I packed my stuff, dial a couple of frens no and out i go. (oh, all 3 children have been kicked out b4)
That 1.5yrs out of house, i m pratically like a free loader, moving to all parts of singapore. 90% of the location, i hav at least stay 1 wk or 2. I worked in mac master, guardin the pool plc. I club most of the days as well.
I hang out with tis group of guys, driving fierce cars. (got to know them while plying counter strike then) I was happy, feelin the fun, feelin proud. I got close with one of the gers there (their flings) as she (RACHEAL) is one of my sch mates frens thn and we are the same age (17). I tot i can trust ths bunch of ppl aka the ah sia (ppl who don't work, ask $$ from folks). I tends to hang out with more thn. Thats wen i was wrong.....we were plyin poker in one of their house (we usually hang out there), and i lost badly. penalty: vodka on the rock. 4 glass, i m gone. I went to rest on the bed. Thats wen i had flashes of my top being remove, breasts being carress and a voice, 'Merlin, i really like you'. I couldn't react much, my energy was drained away by the liquor. Helpless.... The next mnt i woke up, my clothes were on, noting seem to happen. is it a dream?? (I was oni finally told by one of them that it does happen at the end of the parting btw me and the group)
Racheal and I were so close that we rent a master room together at PARKVIEW CONDO. I adore her like a sister, i clean the house, cook as she cant even cook maggie mee, wash her lingerie. We spent our time on drinkin, clubbin, shoppin, workin in VIVA (a pub in central mall), sits on cool cars. The both of us don't really need to work very hard, as we can get most of the tins we want. The tin i wasn't aware is, racheal has bin backstabbing me all along. To gain her mnt of fame and popularity. She was with this guy who drove evo7 (the car juz launch), and she was head over heels on him. Bt they broke off shortly after 1mth, the guy grew tired. She doesn't want to loose him not bcuz she love him, but bcuz of his status. The worse was wen 'CAT' (my thn bestie - guy) asked her for a favour. To get me in bed with him and in return, he will pull the strings btw ken n her. And i was traded for that. (notin happen, he just wana to test her). There was a couple of times wen i was drunk in the pub, she keep urgin me to go CAT's house.
3. The Struggle
Lookin for love...outside my 'comfort zone' wasn't easy. I wasn't accepted rite away. I had crush on gers, but brush and hide it away, tinkin that i m 'sick' in a way.I started part-time job since 12 (Burger King) cuz i dn really like the idea of takin $ from my folks. Secondary life was a ugly duckling's life like. I was obess than. Standing 1.55cm, weighing a whopping 60kg. I was super tanned. unbelieveably dark (swim alot in kindergarten and primary). I remember confessin my love to guys, which ended up being shot back,
'fuck off, take a look at urself pig!!' and 'its a mishap to tink being with you'. Sum call me dumpling. Others mocked me with words like 'king kong', 'pig',
Frens wasn't easy to find as well. I created a new person in me juz to blend into others comfort.
I started dieting, running 4km everyday, doing 300 sit ups every day, stop eating.
Within 1.5yrs- mid of my sec 2 life. I dropped a whoppy 15kg and another 5kg the next yr. I started turning 'pretty', guys came knockin on my classroom, wrote my name on their tables. Furthermore, frens are easier to find. I becum pretty rebel as well, skippin lessons, stealing, abusing myself (suicide actions). I fight as well, whoever, double my size, frm different school, gers n couple of guys. However, all these fights are never for myself, its juz to 'protect' my frens whom thn were lookin for 'excitement'.
Smoking started when i was 14, on x'mas eve. Dad brought me to intro an malay (pretty, i have to admitted) auntie aka his fling. I kant take the blow, and i started smoking. I hated guys, hated the guy who ill treated his family, hated the guys who mocked at me, hated the guys who played on me. I started plying too. Changing boyfrens is like changin clothes. i don't even recall how many i had. My bond with my folks was like shit thn, cuz i dn giv a damn anymore. I can have loud knockin on my door room in the middle of the nite with a drunker telling me that i m an extra, never liked me, love his eldest daughter. My poor sis, the one that i adore alot hugged me, asked me not to take it in heart. Tears are like rain. Passing by once every couple of times. I hated my folks. Their ignorance has caused nightmares and struggles for their 3 children.
I was having counsellin since 14 (the age of rebel), my counselor, one of the few oni 'teacher' i would giv my respect to, had counsel me till i m 16. My family problems was so out of control, she saw the pain and anger in me. She asked with concern,
'Merlin, if you want to, i can offer you a place to stay. To stay away from ur family for the time being.'
Of course i say yes!!!!
However, the 'gimmick' is;
'I need to tell u in advance, this is not a nice place, but at least you wouldn't mixed around with the wrong ppl, and you wouldn't b facing the public as well......I am toking about sending you to IMH. Think about it, and let me know your answer.'
I spaced out. 16....in there....filled with crazy ppl. But I had oni 2 options,
option 1: Broken House
option 2: Hospital of nutties
and the answer is nutties. I went to her 3days after the qns was popped. Told her a 'yes', and was given 2 wks of 'your last mnt' before i was admitted. The 1st wks was with my family which to my surprised, were extremely sweet to me. I felt their gulit and remorse. But my hatred and anger suppress my pitiness on them. The 2nd weeks were with my 'best frens' whom i went over to one of their house and gather. The horror is, they were all sniffing 'K' infront of me (yap, regardless how bad i m, drugs is the oni tin that i wouldn't tin of). Panic and upset, i spaced out again, walking aimlessly to the kitchen and start lashing myself with a broken glass.
Blood oozing out, relieve. The very next day, I was admitted. The doc was scannin me, givin me funny and stupid qns to diagnose whether i m crazy or not. I cried badly, he saw the swell on my wrist, and instantly wrote 'depression', 'mixed of aneroxia and buliemia'.
My 1st nite was miserable, i had to slp bside the nurse room as the need to inspect my behaviour. I had nightmares, unable to slp. Was sub consiously awake all the time.
I tot i was the oni normal one in there, bt nope, there are a total of 2 others, sam(ger) also family prob, her bro molest her. Jan (ger) was raped. The 3 of us stay together cuz the rest......you prob guess as much. In there, the activities were limited, teaches children stuffs, meals are plain healthy. I was pretty helpful to the nurses and was always treated with yum yums.
Parents visting day. Can be everyday, from 10am - 7pm. My mum, in despite, everytime she visited me. All the relatives are cryin the mnt they visits. i juz find it hypocrite. The oni person i fear was my dad. the mnt i saw him, my anger was like volcano. Cried and shouted 'go away'.
I was given a week 'off' goin back home. My than bf which i like alot thn was unwelcum. I lashed myself and was grounded in the hospital the next day. My 'probation' was extended another month. Good!! I dn need to see my folks again.
4mths in there, was a relieve i would say. The pills i was given to eat, was threw away the mnt i was bk to my room. Its juz slping pills and anti depression.
I was back to school after the 4mths period in the 'chalet' and shortly after that i m dealin with my N level. Passed not very good though. sianz.
'fuck off, take a look at urself pig!!' and 'its a mishap to tink being with you'. Sum call me dumpling. Others mocked me with words like 'king kong', 'pig',
Frens wasn't easy to find as well. I created a new person in me juz to blend into others comfort.
I started dieting, running 4km everyday, doing 300 sit ups every day, stop eating.
Within 1.5yrs- mid of my sec 2 life. I dropped a whoppy 15kg and another 5kg the next yr. I started turning 'pretty', guys came knockin on my classroom, wrote my name on their tables. Furthermore, frens are easier to find. I becum pretty rebel as well, skippin lessons, stealing, abusing myself (suicide actions). I fight as well, whoever, double my size, frm different school, gers n couple of guys. However, all these fights are never for myself, its juz to 'protect' my frens whom thn were lookin for 'excitement'.
Smoking started when i was 14, on x'mas eve. Dad brought me to intro an malay (pretty, i have to admitted) auntie aka his fling. I kant take the blow, and i started smoking. I hated guys, hated the guy who ill treated his family, hated the guys who mocked at me, hated the guys who played on me. I started plying too. Changing boyfrens is like changin clothes. i don't even recall how many i had. My bond with my folks was like shit thn, cuz i dn giv a damn anymore. I can have loud knockin on my door room in the middle of the nite with a drunker telling me that i m an extra, never liked me, love his eldest daughter. My poor sis, the one that i adore alot hugged me, asked me not to take it in heart. Tears are like rain. Passing by once every couple of times. I hated my folks. Their ignorance has caused nightmares and struggles for their 3 children.
I was having counsellin since 14 (the age of rebel), my counselor, one of the few oni 'teacher' i would giv my respect to, had counsel me till i m 16. My family problems was so out of control, she saw the pain and anger in me. She asked with concern,
'Merlin, if you want to, i can offer you a place to stay. To stay away from ur family for the time being.'
Of course i say yes!!!!
However, the 'gimmick' is;
'I need to tell u in advance, this is not a nice place, but at least you wouldn't mixed around with the wrong ppl, and you wouldn't b facing the public as well......I am toking about sending you to IMH. Think about it, and let me know your answer.'
I spaced out. 16....in there....filled with crazy ppl. But I had oni 2 options,
option 1: Broken House
option 2: Hospital of nutties
and the answer is nutties. I went to her 3days after the qns was popped. Told her a 'yes', and was given 2 wks of 'your last mnt' before i was admitted. The 1st wks was with my family which to my surprised, were extremely sweet to me. I felt their gulit and remorse. But my hatred and anger suppress my pitiness on them. The 2nd weeks were with my 'best frens' whom i went over to one of their house and gather. The horror is, they were all sniffing 'K' infront of me (yap, regardless how bad i m, drugs is the oni tin that i wouldn't tin of). Panic and upset, i spaced out again, walking aimlessly to the kitchen and start lashing myself with a broken glass.
Blood oozing out, relieve. The very next day, I was admitted. The doc was scannin me, givin me funny and stupid qns to diagnose whether i m crazy or not. I cried badly, he saw the swell on my wrist, and instantly wrote 'depression', 'mixed of aneroxia and buliemia'.
My 1st nite was miserable, i had to slp bside the nurse room as the need to inspect my behaviour. I had nightmares, unable to slp. Was sub consiously awake all the time.
I tot i was the oni normal one in there, bt nope, there are a total of 2 others, sam(ger) also family prob, her bro molest her. Jan (ger) was raped. The 3 of us stay together cuz the rest......you prob guess as much. In there, the activities were limited, teaches children stuffs, meals are plain healthy. I was pretty helpful to the nurses and was always treated with yum yums.
Parents visting day. Can be everyday, from 10am - 7pm. My mum, in despite, everytime she visited me. All the relatives are cryin the mnt they visits. i juz find it hypocrite. The oni person i fear was my dad. the mnt i saw him, my anger was like volcano. Cried and shouted 'go away'.
I was given a week 'off' goin back home. My than bf which i like alot thn was unwelcum. I lashed myself and was grounded in the hospital the next day. My 'probation' was extended another month. Good!! I dn need to see my folks again.
4mths in there, was a relieve i would say. The pills i was given to eat, was threw away the mnt i was bk to my room. Its juz slping pills and anti depression.
I was back to school after the 4mths period in the 'chalet' and shortly after that i m dealin with my N level. Passed not very good though. sianz.
2. To begin with
I wasn't born in a perfect family. My folks marriage wasn't a happy one, was a gullible idea to get marry. Mum wana to get marry to get out of her hs. Dad was the chosen one thn. Plus, it wasn't a willingly marriage. Dad was threaten to kill himself if he kant get my mum's nod.
MARRIAGE AT THE START
Dad an abuser (the way his folks educated him), he drinks, abuse us (me, 2 elder siblings, mum. Not only tat, hes a player.
Mum suffer miserably. Things got worse, wen she was carryin her 2nd child 7mths old, if i m not wrong. Dad had a sweet affair with a married lady which is few steps away from my folks house thn. The lady's hubby found out, made a big hoo ha (which i can understand), mum confessed, chair was found thrown to her tummy.
She suffered a post depression after givin a new life.
GAMBLE
I wasn't suppose to b born, it was made in prob a mnt of lust. My life was secured wen mum kant abort for certain reason. (Before me, there was suppose to b another boy, a brother that I will never see).
CHILDHOOD
My childhood was never happy to me, not that i can remember off. I used to see things flying, chairs, dictionary, staples, punches, slapping, pushing, banging of heads. I started experiencing it myself. wen I was like kindergarten. It started with canning, slapping, whipping. Kickin me n my mum out of the hs.
Thinkin of it, I was terrified, scared, frightened. Mum hugged me tightly, wana to provide me with care and assurance, bt i feel even more terrified. Cuz shes scared as well.
Chairs, stationeries, banging of heads starts around primary. My bro and i (hands) will take turns to be tied on a chair with a belt and another belt fold into half will be found whippin vigourously on our hands. And for a week or 2, tat hand of ours filled with colors of red, blue and purple will be retarded.
All this happens depending on my dad's mood. Slight tins like classmates cumin up to my doorstep to not doin well in school or wen his drunk. Sis (eldest) was punch on her face, cuz she took a 10 out of her piggy bank. Part of her tooth was chipped.
Except for dad, the rest of the family always found in hospital, police station, doing check up, filing report. The only person tat dad would listen n wouldn't lay his hands on is his mum. Granny was most of the time visitin our hs thn. To 'save' us from this fear.
Mum suffered pretty badly, her depression got worse at a certain time, she starts abusing us too. Hardly physical attacks, mstly verbally attack. And the words are never nice.
The anger, fear and hatred starts climbing up. I didn't received enough love from the family that i was born into. I started to look elsewhere....desperately.
MARRIAGE AT THE START
Dad an abuser (the way his folks educated him), he drinks, abuse us (me, 2 elder siblings, mum. Not only tat, hes a player.
Mum suffer miserably. Things got worse, wen she was carryin her 2nd child 7mths old, if i m not wrong. Dad had a sweet affair with a married lady which is few steps away from my folks house thn. The lady's hubby found out, made a big hoo ha (which i can understand), mum confessed, chair was found thrown to her tummy.
She suffered a post depression after givin a new life.
GAMBLE
I wasn't suppose to b born, it was made in prob a mnt of lust. My life was secured wen mum kant abort for certain reason. (Before me, there was suppose to b another boy, a brother that I will never see).
CHILDHOOD
My childhood was never happy to me, not that i can remember off. I used to see things flying, chairs, dictionary, staples, punches, slapping, pushing, banging of heads. I started experiencing it myself. wen I was like kindergarten. It started with canning, slapping, whipping. Kickin me n my mum out of the hs.
Thinkin of it, I was terrified, scared, frightened. Mum hugged me tightly, wana to provide me with care and assurance, bt i feel even more terrified. Cuz shes scared as well.
Chairs, stationeries, banging of heads starts around primary. My bro and i (hands) will take turns to be tied on a chair with a belt and another belt fold into half will be found whippin vigourously on our hands. And for a week or 2, tat hand of ours filled with colors of red, blue and purple will be retarded.
All this happens depending on my dad's mood. Slight tins like classmates cumin up to my doorstep to not doin well in school or wen his drunk. Sis (eldest) was punch on her face, cuz she took a 10 out of her piggy bank. Part of her tooth was chipped.
Except for dad, the rest of the family always found in hospital, police station, doing check up, filing report. The only person tat dad would listen n wouldn't lay his hands on is his mum. Granny was most of the time visitin our hs thn. To 'save' us from this fear.
Mum suffered pretty badly, her depression got worse at a certain time, she starts abusing us too. Hardly physical attacks, mstly verbally attack. And the words are never nice.
The anger, fear and hatred starts climbing up. I didn't received enough love from the family that i was born into. I started to look elsewhere....desperately.
1. Introduction
One of my bestie I knew for nearly a decade, asked why I wrote my header as 'Rebel ger turnin good' w/o given a full story of it??
'Cuz there are countless of tins!!!! I dn know where to start off!!'
JL bluntly burp out,'kaoz....juz starts off with how and y you started to rebel, the process of rebellin, the wake up call. Got so diffcult mae...'
I was like, ' then this will be very ..VERy....VERY longly bloggy le'
that's when I was shot back at the face,'come on lor, this is a blog aka diary. juz write or break it into 3 blogs. the start - virgin blog. the middle - 2nd bloggy. and the waking - the end.'
The morale of the story is....should I??? These memories are well....not very presence, dirty, messy, unbelieveable to sum. Shocking to most. Humiliating to me.
JL probably knew how i was feelin cuz there's a mnt of unwelcum air, surrounding me...almost choking my brain with deadly toxic. He sayang me on my head, padded on my hands and gave me a boost,
'Let the whole world knew ur story and even though sum may not agree or like you, but there are still many who will understand and stand by ur side as they may hav encouter the same tin. You change...and ya a big ger now. Not anymore the angry and lost ger I once knew. You have my support!!! ^^'
Thanks Joe.
'Cuz there are countless of tins!!!! I dn know where to start off!!'
JL bluntly burp out,'kaoz....juz starts off with how and y you started to rebel, the process of rebellin, the wake up call. Got so diffcult mae...'
I was like, ' then this will be very ..VERy....VERY longly bloggy le'
that's when I was shot back at the face,'come on lor, this is a blog aka diary. juz write or break it into 3 blogs. the start - virgin blog. the middle - 2nd bloggy. and the waking - the end.'
The morale of the story is....should I??? These memories are well....not very presence, dirty, messy, unbelieveable to sum. Shocking to most. Humiliating to me.
JL probably knew how i was feelin cuz there's a mnt of unwelcum air, surrounding me...almost choking my brain with deadly toxic. He sayang me on my head, padded on my hands and gave me a boost,
'Let the whole world knew ur story and even though sum may not agree or like you, but there are still many who will understand and stand by ur side as they may hav encouter the same tin. You change...and ya a big ger now. Not anymore the angry and lost ger I once knew. You have my support!!! ^^'
Thanks Joe.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Milk - Harvey Milk
Watch this show lately regarding abot Gay rights. Thumbs up for the lead actor - Sean Penn!! He was brave, stubborn, work extremely hard for his and his fellows rights. Salute him sia!!!
However, till now, ppl are still debating on this issue. The problem is....Theres no problem? They did notin to offend you. Probably juz givin you a flirty stare or smile, bt theres no harm rite? hey...aint' most of u are doin the same tin as well rite? We are judge as weird, perverts and adnormal juz becuz we love the same sexes? Then how abot ladies or guys goin for a lover who is 20-30 yrs older thn them? You call tat normal??
Ultimately, don't you feel tat, love can be found not juz base on diff sexes? Finding true love is juz to have sumone you adore, spend and share ur life with. Grow and comprise with. Happiness and peace is wat we persuade. Persuading wat we want in life is how we feel abot the person, regardless of sex.
I am here not juz to ask you to love us or wat. Juz leave us alone and treat us as one of u. We don't molest or rape ppl, neither do we have fantasy on children or grannies. We just want to work normally with you ppl, go out as normal frens, communicate as normally. Thats all i am asking....Wats so diffcult to deal with us????
The Jobs Credit scheme
If you hav follow up the news lately. Regards on the scheme that acts as a form of wage subsidy by giving firms a 12% cash frant on the 1st $2,500 of wages of each local resident on their CPF payroll. The money is paid every quarter beginning in March.
This caused dispute btw 6 MPs and the opposition MP - Low Thia Khaing.
Reading the news. Gave me a couple of comments.
Its good that government are helping out...the firms in which will helps in securing more jobs. The qns is...how long can this help to substain all of the firms??
I mean....not to be offended...though they are revisin on the GST to be decrease to 5%. why not juz make it drop till 3% instead?? Not 4 ever...but prob juz durin this difficult time. At least it helps 4 those who are still jobless and desperate.
Moreover, shouldn't they juz stop mst of the ERP charges almost. Not all, bt at least most of them should stop operating by now.
E.g. From my hs - Tampines to Tanjong Pagar. I have to pass by like what 3 ERP?? Its kinda tough to substain such ridiculous transport fee.
I m not askin for more. At least with this couple of request, I believe it will help alot of ppl. Regardless whether its high flyers or the lower the average income.
This caused dispute btw 6 MPs and the opposition MP - Low Thia Khaing.
Reading the news. Gave me a couple of comments.
Its good that government are helping out...the firms in which will helps in securing more jobs. The qns is...how long can this help to substain all of the firms??
I mean....not to be offended...though they are revisin on the GST to be decrease to 5%. why not juz make it drop till 3% instead?? Not 4 ever...but prob juz durin this difficult time. At least it helps 4 those who are still jobless and desperate.
Moreover, shouldn't they juz stop mst of the ERP charges almost. Not all, bt at least most of them should stop operating by now.
E.g. From my hs - Tampines to Tanjong Pagar. I have to pass by like what 3 ERP?? Its kinda tough to substain such ridiculous transport fee.
I m not askin for more. At least with this couple of request, I believe it will help alot of ppl. Regardless whether its high flyers or the lower the average income.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Voom.. Voom.. Voom!!
Went to Sepang with Danny and frens. Car Rally!!! hee....pretty fun wen i was sittin in his frens car, Vooooommmmm!!!
They are all like drivin 190km/hr on the tracks and gosh....its damn shiok lor...
The cars were given number stickers and yellow stickers were issued to new birds like us!!
The only woman I love
When You are in the dark,
I will bring light to you.
When the pain in Your heart is too heavy,
I will carry it for you
If Your eyes begin to fill with tears,
Mine will flood for you
When You needed to scream, needed to nag
My ears will be waiting for you
If You need the strength of a helping hand,
Reach for me
When You go to prayer,
Let Me join with You
If you are sick & can't get out of bed
I will nurture you till you are back at
your feet
All I am
Is all because of you You
My Strength
My Tears
My Joy
My Heart
My Face
...Is all given by you
...My beloved mother.
I will bring light to you.
When the pain in Your heart is too heavy,
I will carry it for you
If Your eyes begin to fill with tears,
Mine will flood for you
When You needed to scream, needed to nag
My ears will be waiting for you
If You need the strength of a helping hand,
Reach for me
When You go to prayer,
Let Me join with You
If you are sick & can't get out of bed
I will nurture you till you are back at
your feet
All I am
Is all because of you You
My Strength
My Tears
My Joy
My Heart
My Face
...Is all given by you
...My beloved mother.
Monday, February 2, 2009
CAUGHT RED HANDED!!!!!
Guess the break was too long, didn't have enuf slp to begin with, had a misunderstandin with b. bt things work out eventually.
2day (mon) to Wed will be trainin days, tin my given teaching was pretty fast though its frm 9am - 6.30pm, bt finished earlier, cuz i m able to ans the qns ( I dn say ALL la, bt 70% can ans la) given by my lecturer although she caught me RED HANDED dozing off...OF CUZ LA, ITS JUZ SHE N ME, OF CUZ WILL KENA CAUGHT LA.
We exchange knowledge and tips on bringin up the sales volumne and tatics of customers services. She seem pretty impressed with the slpy head me.
Finally, theory teachin is OVER!!! tomolo will be computin course, which i tin oso small little fly. bt of cuz la, i better dn doze off.
sad tin.....all the gers all STRAIGHT... saw oni a couple of pretty colleagues, the rest.....inner beauty ba( exploring in process)
po pi i dn dooze off. AMEN~
2day (mon) to Wed will be trainin days, tin my given teaching was pretty fast though its frm 9am - 6.30pm, bt finished earlier, cuz i m able to ans the qns ( I dn say ALL la, bt 70% can ans la) given by my lecturer although she caught me RED HANDED dozing off...OF CUZ LA, ITS JUZ SHE N ME, OF CUZ WILL KENA CAUGHT LA.
We exchange knowledge and tips on bringin up the sales volumne and tatics of customers services. She seem pretty impressed with the slpy head me.
Finally, theory teachin is OVER!!! tomolo will be computin course, which i tin oso small little fly. bt of cuz la, i better dn doze off.
sad tin.....all the gers all STRAIGHT... saw oni a couple of pretty colleagues, the rest.....inner beauty ba( exploring in process)
po pi i dn dooze off. AMEN~
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